Embracing Change and Building Resilience: with Denise O’Brien
"Usually what’s at the heart of most discontent is a feeling of worthlessness. If you strip it back, it’s a feeling of being not enough."
Let’s face it - change is just part of life. But it’s not the change itself that shapes us; it’s how we respond to it. In a truly inspiring episode of ‘Garry Talks’, host Garry sits down with Denise O’Brien - Solo Businesswoman of the Year and founder of O’Brien Learning Solutions - to chat about the real, sometimes messy, realities of change, resilience, and personal growth. Denise’s story isn’t just about overcoming tough times; it’s about turning pain into purpose and building a business (and a life) grounded in compassion, clarity, and courage.
Denise’s journey covers a lot: early motherhood, heartbreaking personal loss, getting laid off after 20 years in corporate, and the rollercoaster of entrepreneurship. Through it all, she’s learned a thing or two about navigating change - both for herself and for the organisations she works with. We have put together some of the key points, so you can walk away with some real tools for thriving through change.
1. The Power of Resilience: Denise’s Story
Denise O’Brien’s story is a powerful reminder of just how resilient people can be. In her early twenties, she went through a lot - losing a former partner to suicide, her mother’s terminal illness, and becoming pregnant herself. Add in struggles with alcohol and dropping out of college, and it’s clear she had every reason to give up. But Denise calls this time her “baptism of fire.” Instead of letting it break her, she learned how to cope and eventually found clarity in the chaos.
Key Takeaway:
Resilience isn’t something you’re just born with - it’s something you build, especially when life gets tough. Denise’s story shows that even in your darkest moments, you can find the strength to start again.
2. Seeking and Accepting Support
One of the turning points for Denise was realising she didn’t have to do it all alone. She reached out to support groups and built a community that became like family. That network was the foundation for her recovery - both personally and professionally.
Actionable Advice:
Reach out: Don’t wait for things to get really bad before asking for help. Whether it’s friends, family, or a support group, connection matters.
Be honest: Denise found that being open about her struggles helped her build trust and credibility, even in job interviews.
Find your people: Look for (or create!) communities where you feel safe, understood, and empowered.
Expert Insight:
Needing support doesn’t mean you’re weak. In fact, it’s a key part of being resilient. Whether it’s in your personal life or at work, building a culture of support helps everyone adapt and thrive.
3. The Ongoing Journey of Personal Growth
Denise is clear: personal growth isn’t a one-and-done thing. Healing from trauma takes ongoing work. She’s committed to therapy, coaching, and spiritual exploration - not because she’s broken, but because growth is a lifelong journey.
Actionable Advice:
Invest in self-care: Make your mental, emotional, and physical health a priority.
Keep learning: Growth doesn’t stop, no matter how old you are or what stage you’re at in your career.
Be okay with vulnerability: It’s normal to need help and to be a work in progress.
Personal development isn’t a straight line. There will be setbacks and plateaus, but sticking with it - and being kind to yourself - makes all the difference.
4. Tools for Healing and Transformation
Denise has built a pretty impressive toolkit for healing: therapy, support groups, mentorship, coaching, and spiritual study. She’s drawn inspiration from people like Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Wayne Dyer, and Eckhart Tolle, and she’s even done silence retreats and joined spiritual communities.
Actionable Advice:
Try different things: What works for someone else might not work for you. Explore therapy, coaching, meditation, or spiritual study and see what fits.
Find mentors: Look for people who’ve been where you are and can offer guidance.
Create safe spaces: Whether it’s for yourself or your team, make sure there’s room for honest expression and growth.
Expert Insight:
Healing works best when you look at the whole person - mind, body, and spirit. That’s the foundation for real resilience and fulfilment.
5. Trusting Your Inner Wisdom
A big theme in Denise’s story is learning to trust yourself. She tells a story about leaving a spiritual community when the leader’s demands didn’t sit right with her values. For Denise, it was a lesson in listening to her own body and intuition.
Actionable Advice:
Check in with yourself: Make it a habit to notice how you’re feeling and what your gut is telling you.
Set boundaries: Don’t be afraid to walk away from people or situations that don’t feel right.
Trust your experience: Experts can help, but only you know what’s truly best for you.
Intuition isn’t perfect, but it’s a valuable balance to logic and outside opinions.
6. The Head, Heart, and Gut: Leading with Multiple Intelligences
Denise talks about “multiple brain theory” - the idea that we have three intelligence centers: the head (logic), the heart (emotion), and the gut (courage). Science actually backs this up, showing these centers communicate and shape our decisions.
Actionable Advice:
Balance your decisions:
Head: Use logic and analysis.
Heart: Lead with empathy and passion.
Gut: Trust your courage and instincts.
Encourage this in teams: Value emotional and intuitive input, not just technical know-how.
Challenge the status quo: Notice if your workplace or culture puts too much emphasis on logic, and try to bring in more heart and gut!
The best leaders and organisations use all three intelligences, creating spaces where people feel safe and inspired.
7. Navigating Organisational Change: The 3S Model
As a change manager, Denise developed the 3S Model - Signposting, Support, and Safety - to help organisations through transitions, always keeping the human side in mind.
3S Model Breakdown:
Signposting: Be clear about what’s happening and why. People need direction.
Support: Offer resources, training, and emotional backing. Change is hard - support helps people get through it.
Safety: Make sure people feel safe to speak up, make mistakes, and try new things.
Actionable Advice:
Get everyone involved: Change works best when everyone’s on board.
Tailor your approach: Every organisation is different. Pay attention to what your people need.
Tackle the tough stuff: Don’t avoid difficult conversations or long-standing issues.
8. The Role of Leadership and Communication
Denise is passionate about the role of leadership in change. She says real change needs strong leadership and open, honest communication. Leaders have to be willing to have tough conversations and give feedback that helps people grow.
Actionable Advice:
Get good at feedback: Learn to give and receive feedback in a way that’s honest but kind.
Be transparent: Leaders set the tone for openness and trust.
Empower your team: Be clear about roles and expectations, but give people room to be creative and flexible.
Expert Insight:
Leadership isn’t about being everyone’s best friend - it’s about building trust, accountability, and growth.
9. Self-Worth, Spiritual Wellness, and Purpose
At the heart of Denise’s approach is the belief that self-worth and spiritual wellness are the foundation of resilience and fulfilment. She references Gabor Maté’s work on disconnection and talks about her own journey to finding inner calm and purpose.
Actionable Advice:
Make self-care a priority: Your physical, mental, and spiritual health all matter.
Challenge feelings of “not enough”: Notice when you’re feeling inadequate and work to shift that mindset.
Find your purpose: Get involved in work and community activities that align with your values.
Spiritual wellness looks different for everyone. The important thing is to find what brings you peace and meaning.
10. Giving Back: Community and Fulfilment
For Denise, giving back is a huge part of feeling fulfilled. She’s deeply involved in her community - mentoring, volunteering, and supporting others who are going through tough times. Denise believes that when you help others, you not only make a difference in their lives, but you also find a deeper sense of purpose and connection in your own.
Actionable Advice:
Look for ways to give back: Whether it’s mentoring, volunteering, or just being there for someone, small acts of kindness matter.
Share your story: You never know who might need to hear it.
Build community: Connection is a two-way street. The more you give, the more you receive.
Fulfilment isn’t just about personal achievement - it’s about lifting others up and being part of something bigger than yourself.
Conclusion: Embracing Change with Courage and Compassion
Denise O’Brien’s journey is a powerful reminder that change, while often uncomfortable, is also an opportunity for growth, connection, and deeper purpose. Whether you’re facing personal challenges or leading organisational change, the keys are resilience, support, self-awareness, and a willingness to keep learning. By embracing change with courage and compassion - for yourself and for others - you can not only survive, but truly thrive.
So, next time life throws you a curveball, remember Denise’s story. Reach out, trust your gut, and don’t be afraid to lean on your community. Change is inevitable, but with the right mindset and support, you can make it a force for good in your life and in the lives of those around you.
Want to hear more? Click the link below and listen to the full episode on Garry Talks. ⬇
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/136-the-art-of-letting-go/id1504112179?i=1000721017809
